Isn't it funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same?

When I was young, my mother use to pack my lunch for school. Bologna sandwich's some days, peanut butter on others, sometimes peanut butter and jelly, and even cheese sandwich's on occasions. The basic sandwich seemed to be a staple of my youth. Of course I had to put my foot down when Mom would pack a pimento cheese sandwich in my lunch box. That was one of the nemisis of my young culinary days. That along with Hominy and green peas. Three foods that I can't eat to this very day without envolking a gag reflex. There are other foods that have this same effect, but these are three that come to mind.

Now I'm an adult (mainly in years but not attitude), am a college graduate, own a home and have a professional career. Some days I go out for lunch and enjoy spicy Thai food. Other days I'll grab some BBQ, and even on rare occasions I might get a salad. However, with places like Subway, Jersey Mike's, and Jason's Deli close at hand, the sandwich is still very much in the forefront. Of course now as I'm trying to watch my spending like so many other people in todays economy, I'm trying to pack my lunch more often. And now as in my youth, often times I'm packing the same types of sandwich's. What was on today's menu? The tried and true, a Bologna sandwich.

Apparently some things never change...

A New Year and a confusing horoscope

2009 has finally arrived, and after a rough 2008, I have high hopes for this year. I'll admit that 2008 had a few high spots, but for the most part it sucked the big one. It was a year that started out with my very first visit to New York City in January of 2008, but also January ended with the death of my step father. While I was in New York, he had a heart attack and went into a comma. He never regained consciousness. Another close death a few months later, not to mention the slow dying agony of my 401(k), and I was glad to see 2008 end.

Now that I've depressed my one loyal reader...

Today I decided to start off the new year and try to set in motion a plan of what I can do to make this a much better year than the last. I even decided to take a look at my horoscope for kicks. I don't normally look at horoscopes, because I put about as much faith in them as I put into what my fortune cookie tells me, but I thought "what the hell? "

This was my horoscope for today:

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Quickie

Pursue your dreams today. What you want in life isn't going to be handed to you.

Overview

You need to avoid the temptation to take on new challenges today -- you've got enough going on! It's one of those days when you are much better off sticking with the tried and true.

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'What the hell,' was right!! Do I pursue my dreams or just stay put? Doesn't anyone proof read these things? Hell, that last fortune cookie gave me a better outlook on life then this piece of crap! It read, "You have many talents," even though I have no idea what they may be. But at least I left the restaurant full and mysteriously talented. Perhaps one of those new found talents will help make this a better year because I sure can't count on my horoscope to guide my way.

The Hospitality Industry?

Last Saturday I was sitting around the house and reminiscing about old times. Some years back I use to live in Winston-Salem, NC, and at that time worked at a Hampton Inn. First as a desk clerk, then night auditor and eventually I made it up to the position of Assistant General Manager. At the time I was trying to find my niche in the hospitality industry, and had hopes of going far in my career. I was in my early 20’s and was already the #2 man on the property. My tenure there, however, wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be.

During that two year period, I was working 70+ hour weeks and since I was salary and not hourly, I didn’t get overtime, so my pay was very little. Also one Sunday evening, as I sat behind the desk alone, a man came in. As I stood up to offer assistance, he said he only needed to use the bathroom, so I sat back down. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see him coming up behind me so I stood back up. I remember his exact words of, “This is a robbery, give me the money!” My initial thought was that I was bigger than he was, but then I looked down to see a very large hunting knife in his right hand with it pointing at me. I turned around, opened up the money drawer, and handed him all of the cash. I asked him if he wanted the change too, and he responded, “Only the green!” Upon completion of the deed, he ran out of the lobby shouting, “Don’t call the police!”

I wasn’t so much scared as I was angry. Angry that some son-of-a-bitch robbed me! Angry that I wasn’t able to stop him! Angry that I felt vulnerable and alone! So I punched the wall before calling my manager and the police.

That night I went to the police station and thumbed through several stacks of mug shots. There were hundreds of them, and they all started looking alike. I do remember that he looked like a guy that use to work at the hotel, and that would make sense in knowing when the least amount of people were working, and only 30 minutes before security showed up, but I wasn’t totally 100% sure and didn’t want to accuse the wrong person, so I said nothing to that effect. This crime went unsolved.

Within a year I was fired from that job. Not for theft or underperformance, but because I had been hospitalized for a week and tried to file it on my medical insurance. Once I had been promoted to Assistant General Manager, the owner of the hotel said I was added to the company’s group medical insurance policy. This was a lie, and it all came out when the hospital tried to collect. I know there are laws against this type of behavior, and I did seek the assistance of an attorney, but knowing and proving are two separate things.

My ordeal convinced me that I was done with the hospitality industry, so I moved back to Asheville and went back to college.

Two weeks after Ike...

Two weeks after Hurricane Ike battered Galveston, we here in the Southeast are still feeling the effects. I took the photo above the day after Ike slammed the Gulf Coast and closed down some oil refineries, but not much has changed since then.

The other day I went out in search of a gas for the Jeep, and what I found was station after station completely out. By this time, the gas light was on and I was starting to feel a bit paranoid about even making it home before running dry. As luck would have it, as I passed a station, I looked over and saw a tanker truck sitting there. I quickly pulled into the station and was one of 4 cars already in place in anticipation of finally getting some relief.

I went inside and there was already a short line of people inquiring when we might be able to fill up, and we were told that it would be about 30 minutes. No problem for me, as I didn't have any where else I needed to be.

As I sat in the Jeep and waited, it seemed that word got out and suddenly cars were streaming in like it was a rock concert. Eventually several police cars showed up to direct traffic and to keep the peace. For awhile I stood outside and talked to several people in my immediate vicinity. The girl and her boyfriend next to me with their two dogs, the woman behind me with her daughter, all of us had something in common for that short period of time. Eventually the gas started flowing and the conversations stopped.

My Jeep has a 22 gallon tank, and it took 21.257 gallons to fill it up at a cost of just over $85. I knew eventually they would start rationing the amount of gas each of us could get, so I was happy to be first in line. Since then, the station has once again run out of gas. I hear there's relief in sight, but for now, I sit at home and conserve where I can.

Life, love, and the pursuit of...well, you know how the story goes...

Today I ran across an article on Yahoo that explained a lot to me about dating and why women tend to go for the jerks instead of the nice guys. I'll explain more about why it interested me so much after you have a chance to read the article. So, without further ado:

"Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last

By April Masini Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Jun 20, 2008

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?

Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy. I’ll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.

The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options."

Why this hit home with me is because I had a hard fast rule about dating for many years, and that was not to take it seriously. I knew from a young age that I never wanted to get married before I turned 30, so every relationship I got in, or more accurately "pseudo-relationship" I got in, I knew would never last because I wouldn't let it get that far. This is mainly due to watching my parents get divorced, and then later my siblings also falling into that same cycle. I just never wanted anything to do with it. You see, marriage doesn't scare me, but a bad marriage does!! I know, I know, you can't predict good from bad, especially when you go into it for all the right reasons.

Going back to the article above, before I turned 30 I was your typical jerk when it came to dating. I was cold, insensitive, aloof, and just plain arrogant. Not only that, but at the time I had a series of shitty jobs that didn't pay well, so I lived in some crappy apartments and had the attitude to match. Despite all this, I was always a bit on the shy side as well, and that seemed to make me come across as even more difficult to get close to. The surprising part of all this? Women LOVED me! It wasn't uncommon to go on a date with one girl, and then have her friend(s) flirting with me the whole time. So I soaked it all in like any good jerk would who didn't take any of it too seriously. I even went out with a few of those friends on the side...

Once I turned 30, I knew I was ready to settle down, and as luck would have it, I met someone who I respected and admired. She was wonderful! What I didn't count on was after years of being a dick, it was hard to suddenly change. Don't get me wrong, I did my best and I always treated her with respect and admiration, but I was still emotionally distant. A part of me had shut down over the years, and opening it back up was proving more difficult than I imagined. Perhaps it was karma, but she decided she needed someone more emotionally open and moved on, breaking my once cold heart as she left.

Fast forward another year, and I meet someone else. By all obvious signs, she could finally be "the one," and now I was even more ready to settle down, having learned from my mistakes from my last relationship. Now I was open, honest, emotionally charged up, and ready to accept the future. This time, I was no longer the jerk of the past, but now I was the nice guy that I thought every woman wanted and needed. We even moved in together, something I had never done in the past. But everything would soon change.

Despite my past actions, I never abused anyone. Not physically or emotionally. Instead, however, I would end up being on the receiving end of it. Watching a beautiful, intelligent, artistic woman go from all smiles and a bubbly personality, to fists and flying objects is not a pretty sight at all. It was when the knives and the gun came into play that I had had enough. I've always wondered why women stay in abusive relationships, but then again, I stayed in mine for 1 1/2 years, so who am I to judge?

So from personal experience, it leaves me trying to figure out just what to do. When I was the jerk, I was popular, but only for short term relationships. When I was the nice guy, I was abused and cheated on. Of course now that I'm over 30 and ready for a longer term relationship, there are less fish in the sea. There has to be a happy medium somewhere, but so far I haven't found it.

All of this makes me thankful for one thing...a fridge full of cold beer! ;-)

Taste of Charlotte; AKA "Sweat Fest 2008"

Good God, another sweat fest!! I reused the same photo from Speed Street since the Taste of Charlotte and Speed Street are very similar. The only real difference is that the Taste of Charlotte lacks race cars and free crap. However, you do get all the heat and same over crowded streets as before, not to mention all the overpriced food and beer. But once again, I only went to it because it was right outside the door, and once again, I had to avoid the beer portion of today’s event. And just like before, a cold beer may have made the event tolerable because the only thing I tasted was the saltiness of my sweat rolling down my face…

How long does it take to change a light bulb?

A long time ago I realized that on occasions, I can take a somewhat mundane task and turn it into the chore from hell! This is just one of those occasions…

The front door of my house is flanked by a light on each side for those times when I stay out past my bedtime. One of those lights recently burned out, so I decided to change it. There was no reason to think that this shouldn’t take but a couple of minutes, so I grabbed the new bulb and went to work. Looking at the housing, it’s similar to the one pictured above with a four sided glass and brass enclosure and four small hand screws holding the top on, one on each corner. The bulb of course is changed through the top, so I proceeded to unscrew the four screws. Once I had this done, the entire housing started to fall apart on me, and I was left standing there with screws in one hand, and everything else barely being held together in the other hand.

“Oh this sucks!” I said to myself.

Realizing that something just wasn’t right, I tried to piece it all back together so that I can start over again. But the catch was that the housing now didn’t want to go back into place. I pushed up here, moved the glass over there, dropped a screw, found it under some plants, placed the top back on, but nothing worked. After about 15 minutes of moving pieces around and some colorful language, I managed to get it back together just so that I can start over once more. Taking a closer look now, I see that there’s a smaller portion of the top that comes off to make it easy to change bulbs without taking apart the entire housing.

“Well duh, dumb ass!” I thought to myself.

So now I take the smaller cap piece off and easily remove the old light bulb. After putting the new one in, I grabbed the cap to place back on, but it wouldn’t fit. I look at the cap to make sure I had it in the correct place, but it still wouldn’t fit. I then grabbed the old bulb and held it up so that I can compare it to the new one, and it’s the exact same bulb, size and all. I then realized that there was a bolt from the cap portion that was too long and kept hitting the bulb.

“This is the same damn bulb as before! How the hell did it work before and not now?!?” I said as I grew more frustrated.

Finally I decided that the only way this was going to work, was if I cut the bolt down so that it will fit right. All I needed was a hack saw and I’d be good to go. But where the hell is my hack saw? I searched my toolbox; I searched the garage, but nothing!

“Give me a fucking break!” I grumbled.

What I did find was some tin snips and a metal file. So first I tried snipping the bolt off, but it was too thick. So then I tried to file it off, but of course that was slow going. So after I filed some more, I went back to the tin snips and finally was able to shorten the bolt. Then, and only then did the top cap finally go into place and I was able to fasten it back down. What a mess!

I think it took me a total of between 30-40 minutes to change this one bulb. Thank God I bought the extended life bulbs, so these should last a few years before they need to be changed again.